英語政治短文:如何管理貓狗
If any other cat has more food in its bowl, then any self-respecting cat will resent you for not intervening on its behalf. Cats are a bit conservative by nature, but will eventually move house if they think they can get a better deal.
如果其他貓的碗裏有更多的事物,任何一個有自尊心的貓將會討厭你沒有代表它去處理食物分配不均。貓們天性保守,但是如果意識到會給自己帶來更大利益的時候,它們會最終離開原來的地盤。
Cats are convinced that they are smarter than you are. They are always quick to offer you policy advice. Cats don't like being yelled at. They expect to be reasoned with or bribed.
貓們堅信它們比你更聰明。他們總能給你提供政治建議。貓不喜歡被人大聲吼叫。他們喜歡被説服或者被討好。
Every cat has its own agenda and they expect to deal with you as an individual. Cats like to be consulted—it shows that you respect them.
每隻貓都有自己的安排,他們期望把你作為個體來處理。貓們喜歡你找他們商議,因為這樣做表明你很尊重他們。
The key to being a leader of cats is to appeal to their vanity and self interest. Always tell your cats how wonderful they are. If they start a campaign to save old forests then you should convert to environmentalism at once. Humor them when they bury their shit in an effort to convince you it doesn't stink.
成為貓們的領導最重要的一點是滿足他們的虛榮心和個人利益。對貓們要不停地誇讚。如果他們想保護古老的森林,那麼你應該把這件事上升到環保主義的`高度。如果他們把便便埋起來,證明這樣做不會有臭味,你應對此遷就附和一下。
And always make sure that their houses rise in value and that their interest rates are low. Under no circumstances should you bark at them. While dogs need to believe that you are one of the pack, cats don't care how you live.
要確保的是他們的房子在增值而他們的利率是低的。在任何情況下你都不應該對他們吼叫。雖然狗們需要相信你是羣體裏的一員,但是貓們卻不關心你的生存方式。
A cat's mind their own business and will only bother you when they're bored or at election time when they'll hover around the refrigerator clawing at your legs. If food doesn't appear on demand, a hungry cat is likely to go pleasing someone else. It's your choice.
貓只會關心自己的事情,只有當他們覺得無聊的時候,比如選舉的時候,才會在冰箱前用爪子撓你的腿。如果要求的食物沒有即使出現,一隻飢餓的貓可能會去取悦另一個人。這是你的選擇。
So by now you're probably wondering whether you have to choose. Is it possible to have both cats and dogs?
Yes. In fact, you can't win an election without keeping a few of both groups.
説到這裏,也許你正在思考自己是否不得不去選擇。會不會你同時要領導貓們和狗們呢?是的,事實上,沒有他們共同的力量,你不會在選舉中獲勝。
Perhaps the best strategy is to keep your dogs happy with plenty of barking, chasing, and chewing while saving the big bribes for the cats.
也許最好的策略是讓狗們快樂地吠叫,追逐和咀嚼的同時,保證給貓們個人利益。
-
如果我是園長如何管理幼兒園演講稿
幼兒園是啟蒙教育,是孩子的社會性、人格品質、認知發展、行為習慣、情感態度、性格雛形等基本形成的重要時期,學前教育將直接影響孩子今後的一生。因此,就我們施教區的孩子和家長情況來看,讓孩子從小在我們幼兒園就接受良好的幼兒園啟蒙教育,接受早期開發、早期教育...
-
如何管理Win7系統應用跳轉列表
Win7系統可以創建一個跳轉列表,將常用文件或任務,做為“開始”菜單或任務欄項目的快捷方式,這個功能是Windows7中最顯著的改進。每次打開文件、網站或任務時,只需通過Win7的跳轉列表,即可進入列表中的.快捷方式。然而,不同於WindowsXP,Windows7沒有將這些快捷方式整合...
-
大連中國人壽保險公司管理混亂,無視保户利益,退保率驚人!
作為保户,曾經極其信任過中國人壽保險公司,當一個個不應該發生的低級業務失誤發生後,我開始擔心了:怎麼這個公司象騙子!?他具有大眾對騙子定義的所有條件。保費到期不通知,銀行劃款帳户有足夠的.餘額也不劃,即使投訴過後也沒反應。住院報案竟被告知合同無效,不予受理。...
-
工程經濟管理風險與防範策略分析
1前言工程建設項目的數量越來越多,在現代社會中的地位也在逐漸的提升當中。針對工程建設項目進行全面有效的管理和控制,能夠增強工程項目本身的建設質量和實際使用效果。工程經濟管理是工程建設項目管理工作中的重要組成部分,對於工程施工的實際情況產生較為直接...